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And, even as I sit here wondering the why, the why of everything. The why of the rising sun, the setting moon, and the careless summers breeze, I also realize that to find this why, and to end its pondering mystery, is to destroy all that I have ever worked for, ever sought to achieve, in this life.
As long as I could remember, as far back as the deepest wispering oceans, I have always felt a need to explain everything. How the wind blows, when the tide will come in, why the sun sets at night. I explained in full detail all that there was, all that I thought there could be. But I see now, now that time is almost gone, that I could not truly see anything. I could see the surface, and nothing more, nothing deeper. I should have seen more than explanations. But how could I, for that is all that I would let exist in my universe.
Why.
How.
When.
Clearly that was not enough. No, it should never have been enough, even back then. A person should not, cannot, know all there is to know. But, as I write this, I laugh, becuase I now know this. To even try to achieve this knowledge is the most foolish thing man could ever do, ever should do.
There are only three things a person must achieve in life, only three things they need in order to survive with a smile on their face in the end. But even those three simple things are out of the reach of some people.
A person must always have something they can look back on and be proud of. A hope, a dream. This I have, this all people can say they have. A mark they may never have left on the world, but at least they influenced someone. Or left an impression that will be carried into immortality long after they are dead.
Second, a person must have Love. In order to say they have truly lived, they must have felt love at one time in their life. Whether it be the love of a parent, another person, or even the small little kitten cowering in the gutter, they must feel love at some point in their lives. A dream so fresh that it awakens them in the midst of such a nice feeling, that all they can care about is feeling such again. Love, easiest to feel, but truly the hardest to find.
And, finally, a person must know when to stop. They must realize, when they come to that great point in their lives, that it would be better for them to stop there, and turn to see the sun setting behind them, instead of going on. To live a happy life with the fullness of what they have accomplished, what great mountain peaks they have conquered.
But so many people, so many lost and lonely souls, must tread past the mile stones on their lifes road without these three great necessities. Nothing has come, or will come, of their hopes and their drķeams, and there has been no one, no companion, along the way to stop them and say hello. And because of this, they are driven always to go further, to take one more step, to breathe on more time, until they have these things.
Little do they realize, or perhaps they do not realize on purpose, that you cannot obtain Love and Dreams without slowing down, without pausing to sniff the roses along the way. You must stop eventually, for we all must, and look back. But what is there to look back upon if their is no one to remember, no one to say that they knew you?
No, a person must eventually stop asking why, or they will grow old with more questions than answers, and have nothing with which they will like when they must realize their lives. To go on forever with a question.
To never stop until you have found out How.
Discovered Why
Know When.
That is torture. An eternal death sentence, that will only be carried out when there is
no hope of reform, or parol. To doom a person by their own hands, their own thoughts, and their
own misguided ways is the only form of punishment Life truly has. All other measures to stop,
to distract, and to waylay the weary traveler are merely warnings to those who have opened their
eyes, and Death to those who cannot.
E-mail comments to denki@angelfire.com
